I once worked at a ministry where I was evaluated on both specific work goals and on five character traits. My annual review addressed how well I did on achieving certain production targets and whether or not I was perceived to be joyful and humble, among other virtues, in relating to my co-workers. I was doomed. It was one thing to be on time and on budget, but throw godly in the mix and something has to give! Best two out of three was my working theory.

In hindsight, I am tremendously grateful for that job.

As an unmarried adult, my job has been the crucible of personal sanctification. In any other context — say, Sunday church, a small group meeting, or a dinner with friends — I can g…

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As a part of American jargon, the “mommy wars” have raged for more than 20 years. The term was coined in the late 1980s by Child magazine to describe the tension that existed between working and stay-at-home mothers. Since then, numerous books and articles have been published about the so-called mommy wars, feeding the talk show circuit and fueling blogosphere brushfires.

But our history of cultural ambivalence about motherhood is much longer. Allow me a moment for a quick overview.

Shortly after our nation was founded, motherhood hit a high note. As historian Glenna Matthews writes in Just A Housewife, this new political experiment needed mothers:

There were no precedents for a r…

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When I was a single woman in my mid-thirties, I invited the elders of my church and their wives to a formal holiday dinner as a way of expressing my thanks to them for their care and ministry. As I served the standing rib roast on a table set with china and crystal, one man remarked, “Wow. I never would have done this when I was single. It would have been pizza for everyone!”

This pastor offered this comment as an expression of thanks and I received it that way. But I did ponder it afterward, realizing that for many people the link between youthful inexperience and singleness is inextricably linked. In my early 20s, I too would have served pizza on paper plates, if indeed I had thought at …

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We're well into the heat of summer now, and that means many churches across the American landscape have, at some point, reiterated the modesty message for the good church ladies everywhere.

Wait. I can actually see that eyeroll of yours even from here. But, friends, don't click away just yet. Because I am going to go where large swaths of American church culture need to go on this topic … but often don't.

I'm talking about lust. And women.

For the past eight years, I've had the privilege of writing two books and hundreds of articles and blog posts for women, which then led to numerous speaking engagements. Right from the start, I noticed a trend at each event, whether in the U.S. or ab…

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