Blog Posts on Dating & Singleness

Nine Lies in the Not-Yet-Married Life

Marshall Segal
Nine Lies in the Not-Yet-Married Life

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, perhaps one of the more polarizing holidays of our year. It’s very fun and exciting for the love birds, too commercial and insincere for the skeptics, and sometimes especially lonely for the single.

Singleness’s greatest sorrows are secretly reinforced every February in the souls of the not-yet-married still waiting for their wedding day. While many of our friends and family are inundated with dates, flowers, chocolate, and love notes, lots... Continue Reading

It’s Not You, It’s God: Nine Lessons for Breakups

Marshall Segal
It’s Not You, It’s God: Nine Lessons for Breakups

Some of a single person’s darkest days fall after a breakup.

You risked your heart. You shared your life. You bought the gifts, made the memories, and dreamed your dreams together — and it fell apart. Now, you’re back at square one in the quest for marriage, and it feels lonelier than square one, and further from the altar, because of all you’ve spent and lost.

No one begins dating someone hoping to break it off someday. The wiring in most of us has us longing... Continue Reading

Behind the Blog: Christian Dating

Jonathan Parnell

Four years ago, the small-budget, independent production 500 Days of Summer premiered at the Sundance Film Festival with decent accolades. Since then the movie has surprisingly gone on to earn over $60 million. Why? Because it’s a realistic story of an all-too-common dating relationship — one that ends up lopsided and empty because of a plastic vision of romance.

Its popularity seems to tell us something about Western culture and relationships: the system is broken.... Continue Reading

When the Not-Yet Married Meet: Dating to Display Jesus

Marshall Segal
When the Not-Yet Married Meet: Dating to Display Jesus

Dating is dead.

So says the media. Girls, stop expecting guys to make any formal attempt at winning your affections. Don’t sit around waiting for a boy to make you a priority, communicate his intentions, or even call you on the phone. Exclusivity and intentionality are ancient rituals, things of the past, and misplaced hopes.

I beg to differ. It’s not that this new line of thinking is necessarily untrue today, or that it’s not the current and corrupt... Continue Reading

Spiritually and Emotionally, How Far Is Too Far Before Marriage? (Ask Pastor John)

Tony Reinke
Spiritually and Emotionally, How Far Is Too Far Before Marriage? (Ask Pastor John)

ESPN analyst Chris Broussard on homosexuality. C.S. Lewis on joy. Choosing a seminary. Processing a tragedy. And how far is too far in dating. It’s all in a fortnight of Ask Pastor John episodes.

What follows are excerpts from each episode (click on hyperlinked titles to listen).

How Far Is Too Far Before Marriage, Spiritually and Emotionally? (Episode 84):

A man especially needs to stay awake to what is happening emotionally... Continue Reading

Single, Satisfied, and Sent: Mission for the Not-Yet Married

Marshall Segal
Single, Satisfied, and Sent: Mission for the Not-Yet Married

If you’re single, Satan is after you.

Okay, he’s after all of us, but there are some unique dangers in singleness — especially in unwanted singleness. He loves to deceive and discourage single people in the church and derail our devotion and ministry. But God intends to use you, your faith, your time, and your singleness in radical ways right now, as you are.

You might come away from a reading of 1 Corinthians 7 with two categories in mind: those who... Continue Reading

How to Serve "The Singles" — Ministry to Unmarried Adults in Your Local Church

Carolyn McCulley

When I was a single woman in my mid-thirties, I invited the elders of my church and their wives to a formal holiday dinner as a way of expressing my thanks to them for their care and ministry. As I served the standing rib roast on a table set with china and crystal, one man remarked, “Wow. I never would have done this when I was single. It would have been pizza for everyone!”

This pastor offered this comment as an expression of... Continue Reading