While the great prize in marriage is Christ-centered intimacy, the great prize in dating is Christ-centered clarity. Intimacy is safest in the context of marriage, and marriage is safest in the context of clarity. If we want to have and enjoy Christ-centered intimacy, we need to get married. And if we want to get married, we need to pursue clarity about whom to marry.

Much of the heartache and confusion we feel in dating stems from treating dating as practice for marriage (clarity through intimacy), instead of as discernment toward marriage (clarity now, intimacy later). As you date as followers of Christ, pursue clarity, and postpone intimacy.

Not Yet Married

The Pursuit of Joy in Singleness and Dating

Marshall Segal

This is a book for not-yet-married people that’s not mainly about marriage, or even dating, but about God and our role in his world.