Audio Transcript
Last week, we looked at whether Pastor John was trained well enough to be a pastor when he became one in 1980. We live in a world where you can get a lot of formal training, and it can be very helpful. But all the training in the world will not alleviate the anxiety we can feel over whether we are serving people adequately. “Imposter syndrome,” some call it, or “perfectionism.” We all want to excel at our callings. We want to be capable. We want to succeed. And we want to bless others and truly impact the world for good. So, how do we learn to leave off the anxiety that says we could do everything better? That’s today on Ask Pastor John: peace for second-guessers.
An anonymous man, a surgeon, writes with our question today: “Pastor John, thank you for this podcast, and for sharing your own experience as an aspiring medical professional in college, which I have heard you mention in APJ episodes 1373, 1382, 1730, and 1916 at least. I relate to that part of your story as a surgeon currently struggling with anxiety and stress related to my job. Many nights, I lie awake, worrying about my patients, whether I could have made better decisions, how I could improve my skills, or stressing over unresolved issues.
“This constant drive to do more and be better makes me less present with my family, and sometimes I even yearn for early retirement. While I understand that God is sovereign over my patients and their outcomes, I also know that my own effort and diligence directly impact their care. My question is: How do I find the proper balance between resting in God’s providence and being diligent in my job, without becoming so consumed by my work that it pulls me away from my family when I’m off the clock? These competing forces are causing me inner turmoil, and I’m struggling to navigate them well.”
Faith-Filled Effort
That question is absolutely basic to living the Christian life, and it’s not unique to the pressures of being a surgeon. It’s an issue for teachers who want to have good lessons for their students, and for the handyman who wants his repair job not to break down the day after he leaves. So, did he do a good enough job? Did he spend enough time on it? For pastors who wonder if they’ve made enough house calls, done enough evangelism, prepared long enough on the sermon. For moms who wonder, Have I spent enough time with my kids? For consultants who wonder if they’ve put in enough hours to be worthy of the fees they’re collecting, and on and on and on.
In other words, everybody who is a serious Christian faces the question, “In view of God’s sovereignty and wisdom and goodness in my life, have I done enough, or have I done too much? Am I exerting faith-filled effort to do the best job I can? Too much or too little?” Everybody faces this question. It’s a wonderful, so-important question.
Our surgeon friend says, “I worry whether I could have made better decisions and how I could improve my skills.” He knows something’s off because he’s often not really present with his family when he’s present with his family. He asks, “How can I find the right balance . . . resting in God’s providence and being diligent in my job?”
In the end, what I would say to start with is this: Peace of mind like that is a gift of God. It’s a fruit of the Holy Spirit. It goes beyond human rationality and figuring out. We know that because Paul says that in Philippians 4:7: “the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding.” That’s amazing. He knows you can’t figure this out. You can’t make peace happen by your rational computations. That peace will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus, though it comes from him directly through means but is not entirely quantifiable with your reason. It goes beyond human rationality.
So, I pray now that this gift will be given to this surgeon, and everybody else who’s listening who struggles with this — like all of us.
Six Ways to Fight for Peace
But I know that God uses his word often in ways that are beyond our expectation. And so, here are a few things for all of us to think about as we wrestle with this question. Maybe God will use these few points of pondering that might help.
1. Know God enables you.
Be sure that you keep in mind, with a deep sense of confidence, that God’s action precedes and enables your action. Our efforts are not in addition to God’s efforts. They are an expression of God’s efforts. Philippians 2:12–13: “Work out your own salvation . . . [because] it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” Don’t think that you contribute your part and God contributes his part. Your part is his part also. Knowing this really does become a great burden lifter. It doesn’t make you passive, but it can make you peaceful.
2. Remember his grace.
Don’t lose sight of the fact that God’s work in and through you — both in preparation, say, of surgery (getting ready for surgery) or execution, the actual doing of it — don’t lose sight of the fact that God’s work in you is gracious. It’s gracious and undeserved. You don’t earn it.
“Our efforts are not in addition to God’s efforts. They are an expression of God’s efforts.”
First Corinthians 15:10 says, “By the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me.” Your work — your preparation, your reading those extra journals and looking at extra training videos — is carried along by his work, and it’s all of grace. This adds to your peace because you don’t need to torment yourself that you don’t deserve his help. Of course you don’t. That’s the meaning of the word grace.
3. Pray for spiritual wisdom.
The Bible teaches us to pray for spiritual wisdom. Oh, that we all had it! Colossians 1:9–10: “[We pray for you] . . . that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord.” This is so hopeful. Paul knows that we do not know in ourselves how to find the balance we’re looking for. He knows that. We must have help. We must have divine, supernatural, miraculous help. So, he teaches us to pray for it. Pray, “God, I need spiritual wisdom to know how much effort to put into my skill as a surgeon.” So, pray, and trust him to answer.
4. Make love central.
Seek to love your family and your patients. Make love a central category. That is, seek to treat them the way you would want to be treated. That’s Jesus’s Golden Rule (Matthew 7:12). And I know, in a sense, that’s what creates the problem. “I know, I know, pastor, I know I’m supposed to love them both. That’s the problem. Yes, loving my patient seems to demand more preparation for surgery. Loving my family seems to demand less preparation for surgery. Help!” But that doesn’t mean Jesus’s command is irrelevant or not useful.
He really does want you to love your kids the way you’d like to be loved and love your patients the way you’d like to be loved. And he knows when your heart is right in both directions, and he’ll bless it. And one of the ways the Lord will show you the balance is by keeping love — the very vision of love — in front of your eyes.
5. Be thankful.
In the very struggle to seek God’s help in not being anxious, be a deeply thankful person toward God. And you may think, what’s that got to do with anything? Well, listen: In Philippians 4:6–7, Paul says, “Do not be anxious about anything.” That’s amazing. Really? “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving [why did he add that?] let your requests be made known to God.” And his peace will guard you — guard your hearts, your minds.
So, he doesn’t want you to come screaming into his presence, “I don’t know what to do about tomorrow’s surgery! I don’t know what to do with my kids!” and have no spirit of thankfulness. That’s wrong. That’s not right. Your heart’s not right if you have no spirit of thankfulness for the incredible blessings he has given you for eternal life and a hundred other ways. A thankful heart is a means to peace even if we don’t understand how, because that’s what it says.
6. Trust in Christ.
Finally, remember, if you are walking in the light, trust in Christ. The blood of Jesus covers all your mistakes. “Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven, and whose sins are covered” (Romans 4:7). If your heart condemns you and says, “You didn’t do a good enough job on that surgery, didn’t do a good enough job about your kids,” the gospel says, in all your uncertainty about your own guilt or non-guilt, “You’re covered.” You’re covered by the blood of Jesus (1 John 1:7).
Without this gospel, I don’t know how anybody survives in demanding work. We will fret under relentless uncertainty that we’ve not done all we could do if we can’t rest that the gospel’s going to cover our failures.
But under the gospel, under the blood, the sovereignty of God, the grace of God, the gift of spiritual wisdom, the call of love, the spirit of thankfulness — these will show us the balance we need.
