‘Deny Yourself’ Has No Age Limit

I will not forget my first day on the underwater treadmill.

A stubborn knee injury ushered me into this unfamiliar arena of warm-water therapy. I signed up, feeling like a nervous ninth grader as I fumbled with the gym locker.

Around me, a trio of thirty-somethings traded sleek bathing suits for business casual, dried their damp hair, and puckered before the mirror. They glossed their plump lips and compared lap times and work schedules while fastening earrings and slipping into stylish shoes. Presto! Easy-breezy was their vibe.

I, on the other hand, felt frumpy as I cinched my faded beach towel around my waist and flip-flopped out of the locker room toward the therapy room, passing by an Olympic-sized pool of swimmers who skimmed through the cold water with ease.

Next, I entered a time warp as I skirted the “old-people’s pool,” speckled with women in their seventies and eighties. They pranced awkwardly in the water, elbows raised crookedly above swim caps, mirroring the teacher who bleated instructions as she waved a pool noodle.

Descending into the tepid water, I was surprised by a pang of sadness. The suddenness of aging crept close and lingered. It was a whisper that pricked: You are no longer a thirty-year-old with boundless energy and smooth, pretty skin. Nor are you forty, ushering children toward college and feeling strong and ready for anything.

True. I am approaching my mid-fifties, with deepening crow’s feet and a cranky knee. A wave of gloom swept over me as I exercised, feeling as though the best days of my life had vanished.

But that feeling? It was only that: a feeling. A foolish, crooked feeling.

What I required that morning was not only an attitude adjustment but divine correction. Elisabeth Elliot said it well: “We can’t really tell how crooked our thinking is until we line it up with the straight-edge of Scripture.” So, what does the Bible teach us about aging to the glory of God?

1. Self-denial is for every age.

A popular worldly mindset has wandered into some aging Christians: My later years are mine, to do with as I please. I have observed many aging women who seem to meander through their retirement years, their vision myopic: endless days spent serving themselves heaping portions of “me time.”

“A wise woman will give her life away by treasuring God and serving others.”

But nowhere does the Bible suggest that we age well when we embrace a self-centered orthodoxy bent on pursuing personal hobbies, scrolling away the hours, or embarking on perpetual cruises. This is Satan’s bag of tricks, meant to breed spiritual apathy. In fact, to revel in such pursuits reveals a heart-posture of faithlessness, proof positive that we view our lives as ending, rather than truly beginning, when we die.

The results are tragic, as many opportunities to serve God and others are ignored. If our aim is to chase the winds of youth, beauty, entertainment, or more accouterments, we will live superficial, selfish lives. How foolish to spend swaths of time, money, and energy fighting to re-sketch what time has erased. Complaining, navel-gazing, and self-gratification will never satisfy our hearts.

Proverbs 31:30 warns, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” One major way we “fear the Lord” is by tenderheartedly obeying the Bible, which says that in order to be Jesus’s disciple we must deny ourselves, pick up our crosses, and follow him (Matthew 16:24) — a commandment without an age limit.

See how Jesus flips the world’s script? A wise woman will spritz the perfume of self-forgetfulness over her wrists and give her life away by treasuring God and serving others. A handwritten note, an extra half-hour spent in prayer, sharing a basket of warm muffins, reading the Bible to a hurting friend — these are all tender ways to deny ourselves. And in denying ourselves worldly wants, we will actually get joy.

2. God is our timeless portion.

This joy comes to us in Christ:

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
     you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
     indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. (Psalm 16:5–6)

God has wisely numbered our hairs and our heartbeats, and in Christ has gifted us a stunning, unfading inheritance. With each passing birthday, we can come more awake to a grand truth: We are pilgrims passing through, awaiting the permanent place God is preparing for us.

Wrinkles, achy joints, gray hairs, and sagging skin are gracious reminders that we were created for more and heaven is near. Through the pain and challenges of aging, we are afforded a tender opportunity to press into the words of Jesus in 2 Corinthians 12:9: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Yes, Christ is our eternal inheritance, our portion.

3. There is work only seasoned saints can do.

Once we reach our later years, it is time to roll up our sleeves and cheerfully work. God has a precious ministry designed specifically for us as older saints: teaching younger women.

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. (Titus 2:3–5)

The job of training younger women takes patience, time, and repetition. This is a mantle to be taken joyfully and seriously. As older women, may we remember the enduring faithfulness of God (Psalm 37:25) as we teach younger women what we have learned through our failures, our sins, and our repentant obedience to him. Imagine if each one of us denied ourselves something and then obeyed God’s directive in Titus 2, pouring truth into the hearts of our daughters, granddaughters, and great-granddaughters, as well as the younger women in our church. How the body of Christ would be strengthened!

So, as skin loses its soft glow and deeper wrinkles emerge, when health concerns increase and the loss of youthfulness stings, remember: “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). By God’s grace, we can grow more servant-hearted with each passing year, giving our lives away in increasing measure to God and others.