Highly Online Missionaries?

After three days of nonstop travel, we finally landed in our host country. It was 2018, and as our family boarded a ten-seat bush plane for the last leg of our trip, I was overwhelmed by a feeling of distance and isolation. The feeling only increased as we slowly flew over vast swamps and mountains and jungles before landing on a little dirt airstrip. We made it. America was a long way away.

As with all cross-cultural missionaries, our first term included many challenges. One was acclimating to limited Internet access. Our Internet was expensive and slow (when it worked at all), a metered connection that we paid for by the megabyte. We learned to use it sparingly — for email, basic work functions, and the occasional voice call home or social media post. While frustrating at times, it left us with lots of free time that we and our fellow missionaries used to invest in relationships. We shared meals, played games, and did life together. We quickly came to appreciate this rich and vibrant community.

The second term was different. Our Internet provider upgraded to a new fiber-optic connection. We had a flat-rate, unlimited Internet plan, just as we did in America. At first, we were thrilled — we could stream Netflix, keep up with social media, and have video calls as often as we wanted. But we slowly came to realize that the upgrade was, in some ways, a downgrade.

We spent more time inside instead of outside, more time maintaining relationships in our home country instead of building them in our host country, more time facing our screens instead of facing our friends. Drawn to what we left behind, our mental and emotional focus was in danger of eroding.

Draws of Digital Escapism

In this digital age, the temptation to escape to screens is present for every Christian. Bombarded with stories of chaos, calamity, and corruption around the world and experiencing suffering, hardship, and hurt in our own lives, we sometimes want to get away from it all. So, we shut the door and watch another episode. We scroll for a few more minutes. We shop online.

The pull of digital escapism can be especially strong for missionaries. Why?

First, missionaries often live in places where the chaos, calamity, and corruption of this fallen world bombard them not just digitally but physically. A simple trip to the store may include real risk of robbery or mugging. Ministering to people may involve exposure to fleas or scabies or bed bugs. Missionaries are often surrounded by starving children, domestic abuse, and violence. They can endure near-constant uncertainty regarding housing, finances, medical care, and much more.

Second, sometimes an escape is healthy and necessary. Even Jesus “escaped” from ministry at times (Luke 5:16), and Paul returned “home” between missionary journeys (Acts 14:26–27). Our frailty and our God-given need for rest often call for strategic withdrawal. This can be especially true for missionaries, who typically experience higher levels of stress. Such knowledge lends a sense of legitimacy to every temptation to escape — which only serves to intensify the temptation.

And finally, escaping is easier now than ever. In many of the most remote places, the Internet is available in your pocket. Cellular towers continue to be constructed even in secluded tropical jungles. Satellite Internet coverage grows daily. The Internet will continue to become more available, affordable, and reliable around the world.

Dangers of Digital Escapism

Missionaries may leave their home countries, but their home countries don’t leave them. And this constant connection can become dangerous. Why?

Instant and continual access to images, stories, and relationships from home can intensify and prolong the sense of loss that every missionary feels. We can grieve as we see friends take vacations and family have reunions and former coworkers get promotions. Beyond grief and loss, we might also envy friends and family who are living a “normal” life. We might feel discouraged by strong desires to return home.

“Let more distant relationships take a back seat to more proximate relationships.”

Easy digital access to home can also serve to distract missionaries from ministry and relationships in their host country. Sometimes, missionaries feel unvoiced (or loudly voiced) expectations that they should maintain all their relationships back home. Partners and churches might expect frequent communication; family members might want frequent video chats. These are, of course, good relationships. But too much connection can also distract the attention and divide the heart of a missionary.

Avoiding Digital Escapism

So, how can missionaries — and all Christians — avoid the powerful pull of digital escapism? Our family has found much help from the earthly ministry of Jesus, especially in the way he embraced limitations and engaged in strategic withdrawals.

1. Prioritize near relationships.

The eternal Son became man and was bodily present with us. As man, he limited himself to living in a single place at a single time, to having a finite number of physical relationships, and to ministering to the specific people around him. Embrace your limitations, as the incarnate Christ did, by building and prioritizing relationships with those who are closest to you physically.

When Jesus’s family came looking for him and someone said, “Your mother and your brothers are standing outside, desiring to see you,” Jesus didn’t drop everything to go talk with them; he prioritized the people who were in front of him (Luke 8:19–21). So should we.

Just because you theoretically can keep up with every relationship on multiple continents does not mean that you actually can (or should try). The digital age has removed many limitations to communication, but it has not and cannot remove our creaturely limitations. Let more distant relationships take a back seat to more proximate relationships.

Among the many practical steps we might take to embrace our creaturely limits, consider three that have helped us.

First, schedule check-ins. Set aside a regular and limited time to catch up with loved ones, supporting churches, and other partners — perhaps just one morning a week or one day a month. Creating a schedule will not only help you keep others up-to-date; it will help you focus on the physical relationships in front of you the rest of the time.

Second, restrict access to social media. Try limiting social media access to a single device (ideally one that doesn’t fit in a pocket) or eliminating it altogether. I left social media behind and have no regrets.

Third, take regular rests from digital devices. Consider setting aside one day a week that is device-free. You might be amazed how much more time you have to pray and read Scripture, to engage with friends, and to connect with family.

2. Escape like Christ.

As man, Jesus also experienced the pressure of ministry and the pull of competing relational demands. And he also “escaped” on occasion. But he did not retreat recklessly; instead, he withdrew strategically. The way he got away shows us what healthy rest looks like. First, he often escaped into creation — to mountains and desolate places (Mark 1:35; 6:46). Second, he often went alone or with just his closest friends (Mark 6:31). Third, and most significantly, he escaped to be with his heavenly Father through prayer (Luke 5:16). Jesus didn’t merely escape from people — he escaped to his Father.

Healthy rest may involve being alone in nature. Go for a hike. Take a prayer walk. Go camping alone. But sometimes it will include your closest relationships. Bring your family or a few of your best friends. Take a vacation with another family. Invest in real relationships with real people. Stream less; relate more. Such rest may include long-distance relationships at times, but not to the exclusion of the relationships in front of you.

Most importantly, spend time with your heavenly Father, as Jesus did. His habits of escape centered on prayer. Where else could we go to find the soul-rest we so crave — the rest that digital escapism feigns to satisfy? It is in his presence that we find feasting and fellowship and freedom to serve with joy. “In your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Psalm 16:11).

When we escape to be with our Father, we no longer feel the constant need to indulge in digital escapism. And when we embrace our creaturely limits, we increase our capacity to engage with the people our Father has placed before us. By God’s grace, our teammates will be encouraged, our families will feel more connected, our ministries will be more fruitful, and we will be empowered to endure with joy.