Hold the Rope for Her

Jane was lonely until a charming man won her affections. She thought his Islamic beliefs weren’t so far from her own, so perhaps he could be won over to Christianity. She married and left the mission field so her new husband could immigrate to America.

Donna was sickened by what she found on her husband’s laptop. Over the last year, he had become distant and irritable. Now she knew why. She booked a flight home to her parents, where she knew she was loved.

Rachel was struggling. Homeschooling five while being married to a hard-charging ministry husband had become unbearable. Everyone in her church was so different. She had no one to talk to, no one to understand her. She was done. She went back to the US with her marriage and faith in tatters.

While the names are changed, these stories are not fictional. Thankfully, blowups like these are rare, but the underlying struggles for women on the mission field are all too common. Far from friends and family, faced by the daily pressure of navigating a different culture in a foreign language, perhaps concerned for ailing parents or struggling teenagers, weighed down by innumerable decisions about whom and what to prioritize, women on the mission field need the support of those far away.

But how specifically can churches back home hold the rope for women they send to the mission field? While financial gifts are always appreciated, thoughtful engagement in missionaries’ lives will spur us on more than any direct deposit. In the greatest missionary support letter of all time, Paul writes to a church that he hopes will send him where the gospel hasn’t yet been preached, asking to be refreshed by their company, lifted up in their prayers, and helped on the way (Romans 15:24, 30, 32). If you want to support missionary women in their task, consider how you might offer what Paul wanted: refreshment, prayer, and help.

Refresh Them by Your Company

I appeal to you . . . to strive together with me in your prayers . . . that by God’s will I may come to you with joy and be refreshed in your company. (Romans 15:30, 32)

Missions can be lonely and hard, with many ups and downs. One week we’re having intense gospel conversations; the next week no one wants to talk to us. We need the refreshment of being known by brothers and sisters — locally, yes, but also in our churches back home.

Think about the situations above. What if Jane, Donna, and Rachel had been pursued by friends in their sending churches? What if someone had visited them on the field? What if their sending churches had intentionally built them up in the faith when they were furloughed at home? What if they had been in touch with someone with whom they could share their lives and from whom they could get counsel?

“Thoughtful engagement in missionaries’ lives will spur us on more than any direct deposit.”

Missionaries need friends involved in our lives who are interested and committed to knowing us. Like Paul, we long to be refreshed in the company of those who have invested in our ministry (Romans 15:32). One missionary I know has a monthly video call with a group of sisters from her sending church. This church also annually sends a pastor to visit — along with a small team that includes a woman who can specifically minister to this missionary. And she stays with the same beloved family every time she’s on furlough. The church works hard to refresh their dear sister in Christ.

Strive with Them in Prayer

Strive together with me in your prayers to God on my behalf. (Romans 15:30)

God builds his church through the prayers of his people. We’ve been in Dubai for twenty years, and God has done amazing work. We have no doubt that he has used the sweet-smelling incense of our sending churches’ prayers not only to build a network of churches in the United Arab Emirates but also to keep us in the faith and save our children.

What can you pray for your sisters on the field? Pray for them to delight in God’s word daily and be constant in prayer. Pray for them to be rooted and growing in sound doctrine. Pray for opportunities to share the gospel and for conversions among women in their neighborhoods, schools, and workplaces. Pray for them to be zealous for good works. And pray specifics for their stage of life.

For a single woman: Pray for her to be content in her relationship with God and take any loneliness to him. Pray for sweet friendships with other women and fulfilling relationships with families. Pray for her to remain pure and not give in to fantasizing or pornography. For a sister who wants to be married, pray for a godly man to come into her life who can lead her spiritually. For a sister who desires to remain single, pray for her to be blessed in using her all to serve Jesus.

For a married woman: Pray for her husband to love her sacrificially, as Christ loves the church. Pray for her to happily submit to him, as to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22, 25). Pray for her to be the chief encourager of her husband. Pray for them to communicate clearly and kindly to one another, have sweet times of intimacy, and handle their finances wisely. Pray for trust in God’s sovereignty during times of waiting for children or ministry fruit.

For a woman with children: Pray for her to be kind, loving, and self-controlled. Pray for her to speak the gospel regularly to her children and raise them “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Pray for her to balance outside ministry and the home well. Pray for God to protect and save her children. Consider asking her about how to pray specifically for each child.

As you pray regularly for a sister on the field, you participate in her ministry and store up treasure in heaven. Imagine the joy of singing praises in glory beside a woman who is the fruit not only of your sister’s ministry but also of your ministry of prayer.

Help Them on the Journey

I hope . . . to be helped on my journey there by you. (Romans 15:24)

Like Paul, who hoped for aid from the church in Rome, women on the field are blessed by practical help. Good works that care for those overseas are evidence of your love, revealing that you have a stake in the work. But there’s no cookie-cutter recipe for helping a woman on the field. So, what will it take?

Good practical help requires knowing her. She may need a washing machine so she can be out meeting with neighbors instead of washing her clothes by hand. She may need commentaries to study a passage of Scripture or a book to help her think through some part of the Christian life. If she’s a mom, you could fly out to babysit while she attends a conference or gets away with her husband. If she’s single and wants to be married, she might appreciate you setting her up with a godly, gospel-motivated man. Or she may want to remain single and would appreciate your support in that desire.

No matter her stage of life, she will need much practical help when she’s on furlough. Our supporting churches have provided us with cars to drive and places to live for months at a time. One woman repeatedly loaned us her SUV and drove a pickup instead. We couldn’t feel more loved! They are truly partners in the gospel, and the fruit increases to their credit (Philippians 4:17).

Beloved, get to know your sisters serving overseas so you can hold the rope for them. Be a fellow worker, laboring to give refreshment, prayer, and help (as well as direct deposits). As you personally engage with women who have gone to foreign lands for Christ, you just might find yourself on the mission field too.