Modesty Matters Because Your Heart Matters
Imagine stopping a stranger, man or woman, on the street to ask, “How would you define modesty?” Chances are, their conception begins and ends with clothing: “Clothing that isn’t too showy.” “Not wearing tight, revealing clothing.” “More clothing, less skin.” The laundry list goes on, with clothing written all over it.
Now imagine querying a believer. Does Christian modesty center on necklines and dress length? Do words like showy, tight, revealing, and skin fill our definition? Certainly, when it comes to biblical modesty, clothing matters. Proverbs, Paul, and Peter make as much plain. But so too does Scripture spell out why clothing matters.
Clothing isn’t the beginning and end of biblical modesty. Rather, clothing is a sign of biblical modesty. Consider how, in each of the following resources, what we wear points to the posture of what is “very precious” in God’s sight: our hearts (1 Peter 3:4).
In this 2016 interview, John Piper takes a question on how pastors can encourage modest clothing at the pool. Amazingly, Piper doesn’t so much as mention swimsuits in his answer — not even once. Why not?
Piper argues that while rules have a place in the Christian life, they cannot be the starting place. We want our churches to swim with saints who joyfully, freely dress modestly at the pool and everywhere else. More and better restrictions don’t create such a people. Whole-Bible, Christ-exalting teaching does. By the Spirit’s power, such teaching does more than remodel the closet. It strengthens the soul.
Until Scripture (not society) is our counselor and God (not sin) is our treasure, modest dress either won’t matter to us or will matter for the wrong reasons. Our hearts must cry, “Heeding you, honoring you, serving my neighbor above myself — all these are far better than looking good, than getting attention, than asserting my will!” Only then will our hands grab for particular hangers, and do so happily. By God’s design, God-centered preaching has the power to create this joy in ways “Thou shalt not wear” cannot.
Piper ends by exhorting pastors to work with church staff, ministry leaders, and parents to create a culture of modesty. Together, they can best promote the countercultural sense that modest is synonymous with beautiful. Leave the world to snub a modest wardrobe as “frumpy.” Christians know what the Creator of this world says. And his word is truth (John 17:17).
In this 2021 article, Mary A. Kassian opens with a teenage tale of seventies-style “hotpants,” extremely short shorts often crafted from velvet or satin. When she came home with her first pair — elated over her fluorescent, flowery, fabulous purchase — her parents put a quick stop to her enthusiasm. The trend lacked modesty. Kassian reports “bristling” at the word.
As she bristled, she also wondered why modesty seemed mostly a woman’s matter, and a matter of women’s clothing. Citing how visually stimulated men tend to be, churches can reduce modesty to the temptation-less closet. Of course, Kassian says, the Bible does instruct women to dress modestly (1 Timothy 2:9–10). But that instruction lacks an itemized list of “Wear this” and “Don’t wear that.” So, what happens when we focus modesty on feminine clothing items? What do we miss?
Men, for one. In 1 Timothy 2:9, Paul uses the Greek word kosmios to describe how a godly woman presents herself: She appears “modest” or “respectable.” But in the very next chapter, Paul likewise wields the word kosmios to instruct elders: They must be “respectable” or “of good behavior” (1 Timothy 3:2 NKJV). Clearly, God cares that all his people — women and men — exhibit modesty.
Modesty-as-a-woman’s-wardrobe excludes men, and Kassian says it neglects the heart of biblical modesty: the heart. Do we see our small, sin-stained selves properly before our great, holy, and gracious God? Then we will bow reverently, modestly before him. We will boast in him — not in our status, not in our wealth, not in our clothes. All that we are and all that we have is a gift (1 Corinthians 4:7). The megaphone belongs to his excellencies, the fullness of which we find in Christ (Colossians 1:19). Modesty says, “Him we proclaim” (Colossians 1:28).
Such reverent, heart-level modesty will also speak in its clothing choices. But as Kassian warns, Christians must still root our discussion of what (and what not) to wear in spiritual realities. To this end, she ends the article with three poignant questions to ask of our heart as we consider our dress.
In my 2024 article, I also encourage Christians to ask questions regarding modesty — answerable questions. Too often, we try to distinguish modest from immodest dress by asking, “Would it be wrong if I wore this?” But pose that question to a biblical author, and you’ll get little response. As we’ve already seen, specific wardrobe regulations are few and far between in Scripture. Now, wisdom principles — wisdom principles abound.
Rather than thumbing through racks (rather hopelessly) repeating, “Is this wrong?” we can ask a wiser question of our clothing: “Is it helpful?” Will donning this shirt or those pants profit my faith, or will the outfit make me fidget for glances and compliments? Likewise, do others benefit from the clothes I tend toward, or might I needlessly stir up envy and lust? Depending on our context — our past, our personality, our temptations — our answers will differ. But so long as we are honest with ourselves, answers there are.
And glory to God and joy there will be, for the modest heart that presents itself in modest dress.